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Old 4th April 2013, 02:03 PM
garabandalg garabandalg is offline
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Default Parting the red tape

God gives Noah one year to build the ark, warning him that at the end of that period He will flood the earth. At the end of the 12 months God discovers that Noah only has a pile of logs. When God asks Noah why he has made so little progress in one year, Noah responds:

"First, I had to get construction permits, and your plans did not specify building codes, so I had to hire an engineer to redraw them. Then, I tangled with OSHA about whether the ark needed sprinklers and flotation devices, Next, my neighbor complained that I was violating zoning by building it in my backyard, so I had to get a variance from the planning commission.

I had problems getting wood because the Forest Service banned cutting trees to protect the spotted owl. The Fish and Wildlife Service heard and objecting to me taking any animals. The carpenters complained that I was not paying enough so I had to negotiate with the Labor Relations Board. Meanwhile, the EPA said they have jurisdiction over floods and demanded an enviironmental impact statement. The Army Corps of Engineers insisted on a map of the proposed flood plain, so I sent them a globe. Then the IRS seized my assets, claiming that I was building he ark to flee and avoid taxes and finally the state notified me that it would have to be registered as a recreational watercraft. I really think that this is going to take another five or six years."

Noah waited. The sky cleared and the sun started shining, so he asked God if He was still going to destroy everything, to which God responded, "No, too much red tape."

Last edited by garabandalg : 4th April 2013 at 02:06 PM.
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