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  #11  
Old 8th December 2009, 01:14 AM
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Sacredcello Sacredcello is offline
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Originally Posted by Jeanne D'Arc View Post
Sacredcello,
That must be awful for you. I am wondering, since Jesus healed the sick on the Sabbath and chastised the Pharisees for sticking to the letter of the law instead of using common sense and love of neighbor in certain situations, maybe for the safety of the children you might speak up? There are ways of mentioning things to someone which are not necessarily over-stepping your bounds or that could be interpreted as being prideful. Being a woman makes one more attuned to the needs of our children and after all, it was at Mary's urging, God's own mother, that the first miracle was performed at Cana. You have a wonderful way with words. Maybe pray about it and see what happens. At any rate, I wish you good luck and God's blessing on this issue.
Joan

Thank you for your encouraging words. I did attempt (only once) to say something on Christmas day last year. We were having brunch at a nice restaurant when my autistic nephew broke one of the glasses at our table. My brother-in-law became enraged and started yelling at him. I gently said "It's ok, his behavior doesn't bother us" to which he said, "yes, but I have to deal with him every day." In any case, the children were actually removed from them by the police for a few days last year when a neighbor called. And, the police have been involved more than once. My brother and sister in law have just completed the required counseling to keep their children, but, unfortunately, their behavior is no different. I am happy that my husband does not display any of these patterns of anger. He spent a significant amount of time and money in therapy before we met. We hope to be a positive influence through our example (when our little ones come along). But, we can also pray.
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  #12  
Old 8th December 2009, 01:15 AM
Ron Conte Ron Conte is offline
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I have been wearing a head covering every day both at Mass and in daily life, though it is usually only a headband when I go to professional engagements. I find it is a helpful reminder about the differing roles for men and women.

It is also helpful in training me to deal with difficult relatives, to hold my tongue and to recognize the authority of male family members, even when they are in error. For instance, one of my brother-in-laws spanks his children and yanks them by the arm with great force which I find abhorrent, yet I hold my tongue due to respect for his role as a father. One of my nephews is autistic, so it is a very difficult situation, but if it were not for the head covering, I might have allowed myself to correct him, and that is not my role.

I think you are following the right path. The Virgin Mary must have often noticed errors and sins in persons around her. I think in most instances she prayed for them, rather than openly correcting them. In the Gospels, we don't find Mary correcting the Apostles for any of their faults and sins, which they certainly had. She was given a different role.
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  #13  
Old 8th December 2009, 03:57 AM
Filotea Filotea is offline
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I am happy to learn from all of you. Thanks God for this forum. I think I can be a better woman and a better catholic with this knowledge. Thanks, Mr. Conte.
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  #14  
Old 22nd February 2010, 09:45 AM
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This is my new favorite headcovering:

http://www.garlandsofgrace.com/wp-co...cj-6488(3).jpg

Occasionally, I will receive a nice compliment when out at the market. Someone yesterday wanted to know where I came from. A comment from a few months ago was that I looked like someone out of "Little Women."
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  #15  
Old 22nd February 2010, 02:48 PM
sammy sammy is offline
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My wife and daughters have been using headcoverings at mass for a few months now. The traditional laced veils are sometimes used and "worked into the hair" to make them more visually appealing. Other times a covering such as a winter covering is used. I am really proud of my wife for wanting to do this not just because it is what I want.
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  #16  
Old 22nd February 2010, 06:31 PM
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Originally Posted by sammy View Post
My wife and daughters have been using headcoverings at mass for a few months now. The traditional laced veils are sometimes used and "worked into the hair" to make them more visually appealing. Other times a covering such as a winter covering is used. I am really proud of my wife for wanting to do this not just because it is what I want.

That's neat, Sammy. I have the opposite problem that my husband does not like it when my head is covered for Mass. Good for you for supporting your wife and daughters.
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  #17  
Old 22nd February 2010, 06:41 PM
garabandalg garabandalg is offline
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Default balance things

I think it is important for us to balance our call to help others with discretion and prayer. It is not always about being in others' face. I have learned that the hard way.
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Old 22nd February 2010, 06:48 PM
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I think it is important for us to balance our call to help others with discretion and prayer. It is not always about being in others' face. I have learned that the hard way.

not sure what you mean, garabandalg. Do you mean that wearing the veil is being in others' face?

sometimes it feels that way, as i get some odd looks at Mass!
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  #19  
Old 23rd February 2010, 06:03 PM
Filotea Filotea is offline
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Please, do not forget that the use of the veil is in the scripture (1 corinthians 11:10). This is not about what we want . But, God's will. Saint Toribio de Mogrovejo archbishop of lima (Peru) 1560. He always said, that the only thing that matter is to make our lord happy.
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  #20  
Old 23rd February 2010, 09:16 PM
garabandalg garabandalg is offline
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Default Not what I meant, sorry for the misunderstanding

Not at all, Sacredcello, I was not referring to the veil, which I agree with. I was more talking about what Ron said about the Virgin Mary, Who must have come across people in sin. I do not think She made it a practice to scold people. I think wearing the veil is in that mold. It is setting a loving example without necessarily pointing fingers, which I think often just alienates many people. This is what I meant by balance. Sometimes we need to point out things, sometimes we need to pray, and always we need to recognize and admit our own weakness and failing in the process. Sorry if you misunderstood what I was trying to say. I should have been clearer.
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