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Old 15th June 2012, 04:16 PM
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Sacredcello Sacredcello is offline
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Default Divorce and remarriage

I have shared this personal problem before about my father-in-law, a practicing Catholic who is an EMHC at his parish and who married a divorced Catholic two years ago. My husband and I attended the ceremony at the courthouse. I asked several times before the date of the wedding, "Is she going to get an annulment?" The answer I received was that they consulted a friend who has a friend who is a canon lawyer and the canon lawyer said that an annulment is not necessary because the prior marriage was not Sacramental, as it was also a courthouse wedding. So, all that is needed is to have their pastor validate their marriage. This is highly questionable, but even if it were true, they still have not done it. Yet, he continues to serve communion and they both receive every week. A year ago, my husband and I bought them a book called 101 Questions and Answers about Annulments which I think was politely put out of sight.

For my birthday last week, my father-in-law sent me some religious artwork. I feel very disturbed by this in my soul. This man manipulated me to come to his courthouse wedding by making false promises. I would not have gone to the wedding if he hadn't said all that about the canon lawyer. Now, I feel he is buying my silence with religious gifts.

I need to write a thank-you note for the gift, but I just cannot bring myself to do it unless I also write something about this situation in which I feel betrayed for having attended the wedding under false pretenses. My husband has already talked to his father, about a year ago. I'm not sure the exact words that were said, but basically his father said he is fine with how things are. My husband says it would be fine with him if I write something about it now, as long as he reads it first.

St. Anthony of Padua, intercede for me that I may write something gentle, yet clearly standing firm in the Gospel of Our Lord.

Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on me.
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  #2  
Old 15th June 2012, 04:25 PM
garabandalg garabandalg is offline
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Default Hope it works out and a humble suggested inclusion in your message

I hope that you are able to do the right thing. Whatever you decide to write, what if you include something like

"Thank you for the religious art. I am sure that you will agree that we are all masterpieces in the Eyes of God. May we always strive to be genuine and true to the Divine Artist Who has created us and never settle for anything less than our best effort in following His Word."

Just my five cents worth. Something to that effect written in a gentle yet firm and indirect style hoping to plant a seed of introspection on his part.
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  #3  
Old 15th June 2012, 04:37 PM
Ron Conte Ron Conte is offline
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Default

the form needed:

Can. 1108 1. Only those marriages are valid which are contracted before the local ordinary, pastor, or a priest or deacon delegated by either of them, who assist, and before two witnesses according to the rules expressed in the following canons....

without proper form, the marriage is null, and must be contracted anew (a wedding ceremony in proper form is needed) --

Can. 1160 A marriage which is null because of defect of form must be contracted anew in canonical form in order to become valid....

The only other option is radical sanation, which can only be granted by the Bishop or the Holy See.

Can. 1165 1. The Apostolic See can grant a radical sanation.


2. The diocesan bishop can grant a radical sanation in individual cases....

So what this all means is that your father's marriage is invalid due to a lack of proper form. And therefore 'convalidation' by the parish priest is not possible. What would be needed is a new wedding ceremony in a church with a priest, or what is called 'radical sanation' which can only be granted by the local bishop, or by the Holy See.
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  #4  
Old 15th June 2012, 09:34 PM
jbbt9 jbbt9 is offline
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Default In my prayers

Sacredcello

You and all concerned are in my prayers.
I ask that the whole situation be resolved in God the Father's Holy Perfect Will.

May the Holy Spirit direct you all, in what is said, how it is said and especially in how everyone responds.

If it is all done in pure love, with prayer, God will guide it into His Will.

God bless you all
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  #5  
Old 1st March 2013, 10:12 PM
Mary's Child Mary's Child is offline
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Default Well Said

Quote:
Originally Posted by garabandalg View Post
I hope that you are able to do the right thing. Whatever you decide to write, what if you include something like

"Thank you for the religious art. I am sure that you will agree that we are all masterpieces in the Eyes of God. May we always strive to be genuine and true to the Divine Artist Who has created us and never settle for anything less than our best effort in following His Word."

Just my five cents worth. Something to that effect written in a gentle yet firm and indirect style hoping to plant a seed of introspection on his part.

I think that was well said, Garabandal.
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  #6  
Old 2nd March 2013, 03:52 AM
garabandalg garabandalg is offline
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Default Thanks

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary's Child View Post
I think that was well said, Garabandal.

Thank you
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  #7  
Old 1st February 2014, 01:20 AM
jeromeindesert jeromeindesert is offline
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Default many 2nd marriages in catholic churches

When I was at the RC seminary,we were told that a marriage not blessed by the Catholic church is INVALID per se and thus, a civil divorce that results from that INVALID marriage is not considered a divorce at all because there was no marriage to begin with.


In the Diocese of Detroit, I was aware of many divorced couples who had only civil marriages. When they remarried someone catholic in the Catholic church, the local Pastor married them. I never heard of the Bishop getting involved in any of these (second) weddings.

Also, I know of many Pastors who have "blessed" marriages that were made in civil ceremonies [decades before] where the couple was still married and wanted their marriage blessed by the Church. Again, no bishop involvement.

I don't know if someone in the Detroit diocese is not following the rules or
if the Bishop has delegated his authority to the local Pastors in his Archdiocese.
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